Who are you anyway?

By Dwight Collins | Oct 15, 2015

Camden — Having the ability to identify a behavior that is detrimental and change that behavior is not changing who you are. I am tired of hearing people say, "if people can't accept your faults, they are not worth your time."  That is complete and utter nonsense.

When we exhibit behaviors that are harmful to others, it's time to take a step back and reassess whether or not it would be OK for someone to treat you the same way. Respect the reaction because it was caused by emotions invoked by a poor choice.

I do believe one should not change for anyone else other than themselves. If the bad behaviors stop and are replaced by ones that foster good relationships and don't spark an emotion of hate and discontent, every relationship from that point on has the ability to be positive. Negative behavior begets negative people and I don't have time for that.

I can only speak for me, but I know what kind of person I am, yet I have had several behaviors that with slight modification has given me the ability to have a happy and productive life. Smoking is a behavior — is it going to change who you are if you quit? Well, if you consider a healthier lifestyle as changing who you are, then you are defined by a pack of Winstons.

I try to be mindful — mindful of others feelings, even if they are not so mindful of mine. I don't pretend to be perfect and I let emotion get the best of me. That is something I am conscious of on a daily basis. Changing how I react has changed how I see things.

As an adult, we also have to understand that we have children who watch and mimic what we do and I feel we have a responsibility to humanity to teach the future generations a better way. You are who you are, not what you do. Behaviors are actions that paint you in whatever light you choose and positive actions will bring you that positive light.

I personally accept everyone for who they are and try to find the best in them. I know this to be real because one of the most used words in my vocabulary is namaste, basically hello I accept you for who you are.

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