To change my bandages and bring me lunch

By David Grima | Nov 08, 2012

I watched a Main Street business owner rip up a Romney-Ryan sign from the public way with relish on Nov. 4, and scrunch it up into a ball. I understand the itch to be done with the blessed elections, but all the same…

The nature of electoral politics in the Lime City is perhaps best expressed by the fact that local candidates frequently solicit support by lurking in the shadows at the dump and ambushing citizens as they seek to dispose of their weekly trash.

* * * * *

Had a phone message from L, the other day. She wanted to know if I had a small tape recorder she could borrow.

After looking up “tape recorder” in my Dictionary of Defunct Technology, I was able to reply that I had not seen such a thing since some time back in the late 20th century.

* * * * *

The day the bad wind blew in Rockland, I watched four seagulls trying to fly out to sea and failing terribly. They were able to get about as far as the shore in the South End, but could not get out over the water.

I think I know those seagulls.

* * * * *

Before the bad blow, S was asked to go out onto the water from Cushing and double-tie a friend’s sailboat that was moored out there. This he did, and when the job was done he found himself enjoying the bright weather, calm water, and the peace and quite.

The latter was soon interrupted, he said, when a lobster boat came put-put-putting over the horizon with rap music blaring out from it. Sounds carry very far over clear water. Very far indeed.

* * * * *

Fear produces bad laws. Therefore the people who are most afraid will have the worst laws, and will probably demand more of them.

* * * * *

The best trick-or-treat outfit I saw this year was worn by a girl whose costume disguised her as a box of Cheerios. It was entirely handmade with all the words and pictures painted on, and it looked very good. There were many other good costumes, too.

* * * * *

Fabulous Bob tells me that people grow trees and vegetables in very tiny spaces in New York City, by obtaining sacks of fertilizer and planting the goods directly in them. I am told this is very useful for people with green fingers, but no natural place to exercise them.

* * * * *

Frank amazed me the other day with his very-near perfect impression of a Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon. I have never seen anyone try this sort of impersonation before, and probably never will again.

* * * * *

Talking about the big blow, I found myself consulting the mighty oracle of Maine Public Radio last week to see what the weather had in store. Things like the weather increase in importance when you live in the open air at the top of an empty grain silo, as I do.

As I was poking around on the Internet, (using electricity provided by a dynamo driven by captive squirrels in an exercise wheel,) I found an article by an MPBN reporter describing the weather in Rockland and the nearby islands. It was with some astonishment that I saw the reporter had described one of the islands as “Vinylhaven."

I remember being a reporter for a local radio station, back in the benighted 1980s. Clearly our spelling did not really matter much, but of course our ability to pronounce the language reasonably well was quite helpful.

I suppose this fellow could have got away with pronouncing “Vinylhaven” on the radio as it sounds very much like “Vinalhaven.” But the spelling was a give-away.

Once upon a time there was a store downtown that sold used records, and was called Vinyl Haven. But that was a pun. And I do have friends who occasionally talk about turning their big old house into a retirement community (for themselves and for a select few allies) which they will call Final Haven.

I think I’ve squeezed enough juice out of that idea.

* * * * *

A few weeks ago there was an auction in town (at Trackside) to benefit the Rockland District Nursing Association, and I am told about $4,000 was raised.

RDNA is not able to charge any insurance company for its services, and only takes donations from its customers when they are able to contribute. On the other hand, it does a lot of visiting around the area, and helps keep some people in their own places and out of nursing homes.

In other words, it prevents insurance costs being higher than they could be. Together with other small-scale services such as Meals on Wheels, RDNA is one of the little things that works well for many people, helping them remain semi-independent, but which do not get a mountain of publicity.

How on earth are the people from RDNA and Meals on Wheels going to reach me up in these grim towers, to change my bandages and bring me lunch, I just do not know. I reckon I have about five years to figure it out.

David Grima is a former editor with Courier Publications. He can be reached at, or by ambushing him at the city dump.

Comments (1)
Posted by: RUTH ROWLING MAXFIELD | Nov 08, 2012 12:00

You tickle my funny bone David Grima!!  I enjoy reading your stuff!  =>

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