The Nature of Relationships: Our Relationship to Money

By Marc Felix and Kathrin Seitz | Dec 21, 2010

Marc's answer —

Money. For many people money is an obsession, or at least a fascination. As a therapist I've learned that attitudes about money, just like attitudes about sex and food and power, is one of the areas that will tell me the most about a person or a couple.

It seems to me that money has gotten too much negative publicity. How many of us have heard our parents tell us that money doesn't grow on trees. My father was fond of saying "I'm not made out of money." Jesus according to the Bible said that it was harder for a rich man to get into heaven than it was for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle. And of course, "money is the root of all evil." Since our belief systems govern nearly everything we do, you can see how these harshly critical ideas from our families, many religions, and our culture, would poison our relationship to money.

What is money anyway? A symbol? A means of exchange?

Several decades ago, one of my spiritual teachers said, "I've been rich and I've been poor, and rich is better."

This made me re-consider the beauty of money. Another of my teachers taught me that money is created by consciousness. Because of the negative press about money there is far too much poverty consciousness.

My experience has shown me that this universe is a place of great abundance. You plant one small watermelon seed and it grows into a big watermelon with hundreds of seeds, each of which will produce more watermelons. Or as they say in macrobiotics about rice, "from one grain, ten thousand grains." Or just look at the number of stars in the sky.

Of course I realize that money is only one form of abundance. Higher on my priority list is love, health, happiness, and friends. But I am clear that many people need to heal their damaged relationship to money and create a consciousness of abundance and prosperity.

Being aware of any negative beliefs that you carry about money is an essential beginning to healing your relationship to money. To talk about money as being good or bad is like talking about a knife as good or bad. It all depends on how you use it.

Money is a powerful energy of creation and transformation. Think of all the things you can create with money. Indeed the more money you have, the faster and easier it is to create most things.

The nature of the universe is abundance. Poverty is a contraction, a restriction. Open yourself to receive. Have an attitude that says "I am willing to receive". See yourself as worthy to receive the abundant gifts of this opulent universe!


Kathrin's answer —

Just a note before I begin: Marc, your spiritual teacher would be Sophie Tucker, the great American chanteuse and burlesque performer, often called the last of the Red Hot Mamas! The exact words were "I've been rich and I've been poor, and, believe me honey, rich is better." Great singers make great teachers!

We're in the time of advent, if we are Christians, we await the light and the birth of our savior. If we are Jewish, we have just celebrated the miracle of light. On the Solstice, Dec. 21, the sun begins its return to light as the days get longer. Let's apply these thoughts to money. Let's expect the light, the gold. Yes, we live in difficult times; yes, the illusion of a false abundance has vanished. But the belief in miracles is alive.

When I was raising my son, the coffers were often empty. But they filled up, time and time again, in unexpected ways. Because I had been taught to be awake to manifestation, or alive to possibility, I found opportunities in the strangest places. Once, my son and I were walking down Sixth Avenue near 47th Street in New York City. It was cold and rainy, miserable and we had 10 blocks to walk before the subway station. Alex was 6 years old and he was shivering. Counting out my coins, I realized — not enough money for a cab to our destination — so, instead, I grabbed Alex's hand and started singing, "We ain't got a barrel of money, Our clothes may be ragged and funny, but we're traveling along singing a song, side by side." Skipping and singing, we turned the corner on 47th Street, and saw money flying in the air, right outside a parking garage. Lots of bills, singles, twenties, tens. I yelled, "Alex, let's go catch some money." And we did. A couple of tens, a twenty — enough for a cab. It was one of those movie moments, bills flying in the air, everywhere, the citizenry catching them, the garage attendants as well. We all laughed. It was three days before Christmas. Miracles are expected at Christmas.

Expect miracles every day. Pick up pennies or nickels wherever you see them, knowing that they will grow into dollars, hundreds of dollars, thousands. Take whatever work you can get — everything is opportunity. Believe in the mystery. Trust. Remember what is written on every piece of money ever minted in the United States of America: In God We Trust. When you grow weary, pick up a penny and read what it says.

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