Most rare vision

By David Grima | Jun 20, 2019

I wish to put in a kind word for poor Lord Prez Trumpleton, who is still very upset about those recent leaked opinion polls that predict his losing the next election to a range of potential candidates, including a dead penguin.

Obviously a lot of you find this sort of thing very funny, but I assure you that your heartless and thoughtlessly cruel comments pierce him where it hurts most.

For the plain truth and simple truth is that Lord Reginald K. Trumpleton, president of these fine lands, is doing the very best he can with what little he has.

I wish sincerely that more of you would be willing to give him credit for that. After all, it’s not as though he ever wanted the job. Is it his fault that all those Democrats couldn’t fight their way out of the proverbial wet paper bag? Or that the Republicans who lamely went up against him were as dynamic as old dry toast?

Not at all. He took the job because he was proud to serve. And he needed the money.

* * * * *

Possibly the Lord Prez’s current trade war is responsible for the fact that a certain local shoe store now seems to be selling sandals one at a time, instead of in pairs? I don’t know.

However the sign in the store window is as plain as the nose on your face: “Kids’ Sandals: Buy one, get the second at 50 percent off.”

Clearly, hard times are not very far ahead.

* * * * *

Betty Bird has assured me, after reading last week’s paper, that the late Mike Nevelson (son of Louise) did indeed own property in the South End. She said it was a tall red house, and she remembers it well.

I am glad that some of the things I think I remember turn out to be true.

* * * * *

A former city councilor called last weekend to add his complaints to my own humble comments about the rate at which Rockland’s traffic lights are failing.

He said that once upon a time the city could get these things fixed fairly quickly, and that even he was able to fix them. But it all seems to be beyond the present administration.

* * * * *

One of my few remaining news sources advises me that a restored sardine carrier will be re-launched at Rockport Marine, around about July 13. Not sure what its name is.

* * * * *

A sardine carrier is a kind of old-timey (circa 1940s) wooden commercial fishing boat, in case you were uncertain. Our harbor used to be riddled with them. The last working examples I knew of in Rockland were the Jacob Pike (skipper Dick Lindahl) and the Double Eagle (skipper Glenn Lawrence.)

* * * * *

Mid-Coast School of Technology on South Main Street held an “everything must go, please, we beg of you” yard sale at the old school last weekend.

I went down on Saturday morning and poked around in the interior of the place. It was filled with desks, tables, chairs, etc. In the end I bought a set of industrial-strength saucepans and knives for the kitchen at St. Bildad’s Church. No idea if they were ever able to rid themselves of the furniture.

I believe that demolition of the old school has somewhat begun, and that within a very short time the whole place will be leveled to reveal, standing just a few yards behind it and quite close to the shore, the new school.

* * * * *

I see the Rockland PD’s bicycle patrol resumed June 10. I fear for the life of any cycling officer who is dispatched into the Sound End, for fear he will vanish by mistake into one of our many fine holes.

At the very least, they could give the poor fellows a parachute to wear.

* * * * *

The people behind the restored Millay House arts project on Broadway, birthplace of poet Edna St. Vincent, are looking for a volunteer to act as part-time treasurer to the organization. Interested parties are urged to contact Michelle Gifford at 975-1145.

* * * * *

I was sitting the other day at the top of the concrete towers at the foot of Mechanic Street, where I am forced to live, when I was overcome with a most rare vision.

The city, spread out in all its splendiferous glory below me, began to shimmer. Obviously this had nothing to do with heat, as we’ve none yet.

No, it was like in those TV shows where someone is having a flashback to another time. In this case, what was revealed to me was the future of Rockland, when the city (possibly the whole state) has been abandoned because of our dire low birth rate.

It was clearly a time when all the people who call this fair place home had long gone. There were no sounds of traffic, no shipping sounding the midday horn in the harbor, no machinery digging holes in the South End. Indeed, the very fabric of which our city is made, our houses, our schools, our downtown – all were now long gone.

The roads were the only thing left that seemed familiar, crusty gray tracks, cracked and gaping, shattered, dangerous and broken.

Everywhere the maple trees had taken over entirely. The maples and the bloody squirrels that live in them. Rockland was again a great forest, just as it was when Ye Olde Lermond Bros. from Warren pitched a logging camp up here in the 18th century. Only this time it was not a pine forest, but maples from the sea to eternity.

* * * * *

Speaking of our roads, a resident of the South End told me a truly horrifying tale the other week.

She set out one day from her house with the intention of going into town, or some such.

Diligently following all the many fluorescent "Detour" signs and "No Left Turn" signs, and driving cautiously over the shell-holes and pits that are still to be found all over, she arrived to find herself once more sitting outside her own house, having gone in a completely futile circuit.

* * * * *

Speaking of Main Street, last Saturday was, confusingly, the annual Summer Solstice Party downtown. It was about a week early for the true solstice, but seemed generally well attended.

The biggest crowd was to be seen outside the old Baptist Church, which is now a medical marijuana dispensary, but I think the crowd was there more for the dancing kids and teens (who put on a fine show each year) than for the green stuff.

* * * * *

The summer people are back.

I followed one couple from New Hampshire as they drove happily along Main Street in neither the left lane nor the right, but straight down the middle.

Eventually, using a combination of audiovisual signs and other indications, I was able to draw their attention to the fact that it is a two-lane street, not a place where one can casually saunter down the middle. However, one cannot blame them fully for their misapprehension, as the center line stripes that set off the left lane from the right were worn away months ago, and had not yet been repainted, even in June.

Elsewhere, families have begun to arrive and move into the summer rentals across town. Some of them are the nicest people.

Comments (1)
Posted by: Mary A McKeever | Jun 20, 2019 14:24

Once again David, you make me chuckle and informed.

Mary "Mickey" (Brown_ McKeever +0)



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