Do you talk to yourself?

By Benny Huckleberry as told to Liz Hoffmann | Aug 02, 2019

Benny Huckleberry here. I’m concerned about a strange behavior that my human has, and I’d like for you to weigh in. First of all, there’s what she does in the car. Whenever we are driving somewhere, she starts talking to herself! I know that she isn’t talking to me, since she rarely mentions my name. And she isn’t talking to my sister, Ilsa, since she doesn’t mention her name, either. Instead, she seems to be talking to some guy named “Buddy,” who isn’t even in the car with us! I have noticed that it never happens when we’re driving alone on a deserted road, but rather, it’s always when there are lots of other cars around. When it’s crowded, I hear her say some very peculiar things.

“OK, Buddy, fine, ride my bumper if you like. I will just hand signal to the next 20 cars in front of me to go faster.”

I have no idea who this guy Buddy is that she’s referring to, but I don’t think she likes him.

“Oh, yeah, Buddy, that’s it. While you’re tailgating me, be careful. Since my left foot is just itching to slam on the brakes.”

Or sometimes, she will even ask him a question.

“Really, Buddy? The speed limit is 40 mph and you are doing 10 mph. Did you spot some loose change on the road?”

When she says these things, she seems agitated, even though she drives at a safe speed and doesn’t do any mysterious hand motions. That’s why I get confused. There is nothing she can do while sitting in the car and driving, but somehow, talking to her imaginary friend, Buddy, seems to make her feel better. Like he can actually hear her. It’s so weird! And I don’t think with any of this car talk she is looking for a solution or an answer from anyone. I certainly hope not, since I have no idea what to say. And, what’s bizarre is that she only seems to talk to Buddy when we’re in the car, and not at home. However, on occasion I have heard that same agitated tone at home when she talks to me and Ilsa and the kitties.

“My, oh, my, I just brushed you. How wonderful that you’ve all decided to drop another 5,000 pounds of cat and dog hair on my bed.”

Or sometimes when we crowd her in the bathroom.

“Would you mind? You have the run of the whole house! Why do you all have to squeeze into the bathroom with me? Can I please have some private time?”

Or, one question that puzzles me most.

“Benny, where the heck are my glasses. Did you take them? Where did you hide them?”

She knows that I don’t wear glasses, so why is she asking me where I put them? I really don’t get it.

It gets even stranger, in that sometimes she even seems repulsed.

“OK, who’s been snacking in the cat’s litter? Benny? Ilsa? That’s gross!”

And finally, another bizarre request, although thankfully, no mention of the imaginary human named Buddy.

“Is it really important to wake me up with howling at 3 a.m.? Next time maybe you can start at 2 a.m.?”

I think with that one, she’s being a bit sarcastic. So, from talking to an imaginary guy, to getting agitated, to asking me and the gang weird, sarcastic questions, I’m worried. What do you all think? Is my human going insane, or is she just a normal human and pet parent? Please advise.

Sincerely, Benny H.

Comments (2)
Posted by: Robin Milliken | Aug 03, 2019 06:31

Hahahahah



Posted by: Robin Milliken | Aug 03, 2019 06:31

Hahahahahs



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