Dear Diamond to Only Pressing Like

By Diamond | Nov 24, 2016

Dear Diamond,

When is it appropriate to say 'I love you' in a relationship? I've been feeling hints that my partner wants to hear this, and for whatever reasons I am not ready to say it until I am sure I mean it. When will I know that the time is right? We see each other only once or twice a week. And we have decided not to date anyone else. I haven’t introduced her to my friends or family and I’m not sure why that is. She’s a nice person, but I just can’t say those words. Any advice?

-Only pressing ‘LIKE’

 

Dear Only pressing 'LIKE',

If you need to ask this, then you already know the answer. You are just not there. Telling a partner that you love them needs to come from your heart and not your head. And before you say it, you must really want this person to be a part of your life and not merely a week-end date who fills your emptiness and longing for true love.

In all fairness to your partner, it’s probably best to tell her right now that you would like to give the relationship the chance to progress further. Be honest and express that while you like her a lot and that you enjoy being together, you are not able to say love yet.

In the meantime, here are some questions to ask yourself:

-Are you genuinely interested in what she likes and dislikes?

-Do you know what the most special times in her life have been?

-Do you know her middle name, birthdate, and where she was born?

-Do you know her least favorite relatives?

-Do you know her favorite songs, movies, and books?

-Do you know what she might do with lottery winnings?

-Do you know and are you considerate of her favorite ways to relax and have fun?

Being in love is knowing someone inside and out, knowing their flaws, and still loving them. Diamond has a hunch that you haven’t been curious about these things. Diamond also wonders why you haven’t introduced her to your friends and family. When you love someone, usually you want to tell them about this wonderful person.

Love is inexplicable, that is part of its beauty; sometimes you can’t describe it, but you most ALWAYS know when it is in you. If little things don’t constantly make you think of your significant other, then it is doubtful she is your soulmate.

Can you see the two of you together five years from now? Is there potential for this relationship to grow into love? If you do love her, start treating her as if she were your love and then she will understand where the relationship is going. That’s what she wants to know. It’s your actions rather than your words that count the most.

There are so many telling signs in your questions that lead me to think that there is something else that is in your way. Another woman perhaps? In a utopian view of relationships; are you looking for perfection in an imperfect world? If the grass is always greener in someone else’s yard, it can get in the way of love.

Sometimes there is a fear of being the first one to say ‘I love you’ because you might not hear it back, but from the way you phrased your question, I don’t think that’s the issue. Diamond had a friend who was wondering this stuff when he had an epiphany. He says,

“I finally understood where the relationship was going last Christmas. I gave her a gold heart-shaped locket and she gave me a yogurt-maker. I had been sleeping with her for two years and she was still signing off her letters and notes to me with 'Kind regards.' That’s when I knew we were at a different level. I don’t know why it took me so long to figure that out.”

And dear ‘Only Pressing Like,” Remember the words of Paul Simon,

“You don’t have to lie to me. Just give me some tenderness beneath your honesty.”

With grace and peace,

Diamond

Advice appearing in Dear Diamond is for entertainment only and does not reflect the views of Courier Publications or its editorial boards. This column is not intended to replace the services of medical, financial or legal professionals.

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Snail mail: 91 Camden St., Suite 403, Rockland, ME 04841

Email: deardiamond@courierpublicationsllc.com

 

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