Dear Diamond to Heartsick

By Diamond | Nov 17, 2016

Dear Diamond,

After the election, I had a huge falling-out with my sister, who is very religious. She was an avid Trump supporter and I am so upset that she doesn’t see how unkind he is. I don’t know how this sister can call herself holy when she is not kind to people. For instance, she would not go to our gay sister’s wedding a few years ago because she is against same-sex marriage.

We all have to be together for the upcoming holidays because of our elderly father and I don’t want to be in the same room with her. I have been upset about the election while she is gloating about it. I am beside myself. She thinks because he won, that he’s right about everything.

My question is this: how do I get through the holidays this year? I am sure that she is going to bring up the election results.

-Heartsick & Anxious

 

Dear Diamond,

I am a gay man who has always been close to my family. We grew up in a military family as ‘Army Brats’ and my older brother has served two tours in Iraq/Afganistan. I have made funny comments over the past year about Trump and now I’m realizing that my brother didn’t see them as funny at all. This past week after the election, he blocked my phone and now has blocked me from his Facebook. He won’t talk to me. I’ve always been close to this brother. We have never fought. He’s been good to my partner up until now. I had a feeling something was coming because in recent weeks, my partner has had some devastating things happening in his family and my brother hasn’t asked about it at all. Now he won’t talk to us at all.

What should I do? I feel horrible that my brother is acting like this. I don’t know what is going through his mind.

-Tossed aside

 

Dear Heartsick & Anxious and Tossed aside,

Thomas Jefferson said, “I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy as cause for withdrawing from a friend.”

Staying away from the topics of politics and religion can keep the peace at holidays. So many are GENUINELY upset about this now that there is really only one thing to do for the holidays. Be sensitive to this and don’t bring it to the Thanksgiving table. Especially if you are aware of the opinions of the others.

There is a saying that Diamond likes to think about when wrapped in the blanket called “righteousness.” Since there is never a clear cut right and wrong when it comes to politics or religion sometimes it is best to think about the saying, “Would you rather be right or would you rather be loved?”

This does not mean “park your ideals in the garage and bow to others,” rather it means that sometimes pontificating about your values is not the right move, dependent on the situation. Standing up for one’s principles is without a doubt the most important thing to do in an integrity-based life, but picking your moments to “stand up and be counted” is different from thinking everyone needs to share your choices, no matter how right they might be.

Diamond’s advice for you, dear Tossed-aside: Be patient and wait. Time may be the healer of this rift. It’s possible that your brother may decide he misses you.

“Viva la difference” and pass the gravy!

With grace and peace,

Diamond

 

Dear Readers,

Men and women, guys and girls, have written to Dear Diamond because they want to meet someone. Each week Diamond will post one event that’s appropriate for single folks. Not exclusively for singles, but very appropriate.

Just get out there and mingle, folks. You just never know who will be there.

11th Annual “Serving to End World Hunger” Tennis Tournament.

Sat., Nov. 19 noon-4 p.m. at Midcoast Recreation Center in Rockport. Spots for 32 players in mixed round-robin format. Suggested entry donation of $25 goes to local, state, world food banks. Players and spectators also asked to bring nonperishable items for AIO Food Pantry in Rockland. Same day, from 10:15-11:45 a.m., players and challenge MRC’s pros, Bruce and Seth Meyer. The donate $10 if they lose. You must donate $5 if you lose. Sign up for either event: 594-4637, meyerwife@aol.com

Advice appearing in Dear Diamond is for entertainment only and does not reflect the views of Courier Publications or its editorial boards. This column is not intended to replace the services of medical, financial or legal professionals.

Contact Dear Diamond:

Ask Dear Diamond your question. Diamond responds to all who write in. Participation in Dear Diamond is always anonymous and free.

Snail mail: 91 Camden St., Suite 403, Rockland, ME 04841

Email: deardiamond@courierpublicationsllc.com

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