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PublishedApril 23, 2011
Relationship to pain
“Find ways to be with those who are suffering.” — Gautama Buddha Tara in Waldoboro, who has just undergone heart surgery, asks about our relationship to pain. Kathrin’s perspective: I became interested in my relationship to pain as a result of living with a fractured hip for four months and then undergoing surgery to repair the hip. Both moments involved pain. The curious thing about the first …
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PublishedFebruary 20, 2011
The Nature of Relationships: Keeping the fire alive
Marc’s view Are you patting yourself on the back because you gave a card or gift for Valentine’s Day? Well, don’t. Giving a gift for Valentine’s Day doesn’t deserve praise. It’s required. Praise is reserved for a surprise gift that has no particular occasion attached to it. Let’s look at what else goes into the ongoing care and maintenance of a relationship. My first thought about this, after years of working …
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PublishedJanuary 30, 2011
Our relationship to creativity
Marc’s perspective Shamans say that all of us have songs, poems, pictures, dances, stories and every kind of creativity inside of us. If we keep our creative energy bottled inside it can make us sick. In order to stay healthy we have to express our songs and poems and dances. Creativity is a medicine for the body, mind, and the soul. Of course, creativity is not just singing and dancing and painting. It can be …
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PublishedJanuary 15, 2011
New Year’s resolutions
Marc’s perspective Every year, I hear people tell me that they’re making New Year’s resolutions. When I ask them how they did with previous year’s resolutions they usually say that they forgot about them in the busy-ness of their lives. What can we do to better keep our resolutions? Here are some thoughts. I prefer the word “intention” to the word “resolution.” I especially like the Hebrew word “kavanna,” which …
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PublishedJanuary 1, 2011
Our relationship to the holidays
Marc’s perspective Close your eyes. Can you hear Bing Crosby singing, “I’m dreaming of a White Christmas”? Bing paints a poetic picture of paradise for us “where the treetops glisten.” He captures our culture’s collective dream of Christmas as a time of pure peace and love. Christmas is truly being home, the ideal home and family we’ve always wanted. Of course, all of us are longing for such a place. Perhaps …
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PublishedDecember 21, 2010
The Nature of Relationships: Our Relationship to Money
Marc’s answer — Money. For many people money is an obsession, or at least a fascination. As a therapist I’ve learned that attitudes about money, just like attitudes about sex and food and power, is one of the areas that will tell me the most about a person or a couple. It seems to me that money has gotten too much negative publicity. How many of us have heard our parents tell us that money doesn’t grow on …
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PublishedNovember 28, 2010
The Nature of Relationship: Attraction
Marc’s answer What makes a woman attractive to a man? My personal opinion is that there’s nothing more attractive on the planet than a woman. Each woman is a work of art. For me it’s a combination of the grace and flow of the way she moves, the curves of her body, her openness and responsiveness on every level, and the spontaneity of her expression. But most of all it’s the sheer luminosity of women. The …
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PublishedOctober 9, 2010
Finding a Relationship, listening to the body
Marc’s perspectiveEach one of us has a body. Obvious, yes? Yet so many people do not really inhabit their bodies. They spend most of their day in their minds, their heads. We are so engrossed in our thoughts that we hardly notice the rich tapestry of sensations and communications being offered by our bodies.The body can become a kind of semi-conscious vehicle for carrying the head around. Many years ago it …
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PublishedSeptember 25, 2010
Finding a Relationship: self sovereignty
Marc’s perspective Self sovereignty. Doesn’t the word have a certain glory to it? A fully independent self in charge of one’s self, ruled by no one but oneself. Such a person might say things like, I have myself, I’m my own person, I know who I am and I know what I want. America has been described as a culture of “rugged individualism.” We value our independence. Psychologists are apt to point out that it …
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PublishedAugust 31, 2010
How to find a relationship: Be awake in the present moment
Marc’s perspective Perhaps the greatest enemy of intimacy is the sense of familiarity. We often have the idea that we know who someone is. This can happen after 20 years or 20 minutes. When we think we know someone, we don’t really look at them or really listen to them. We fall into automatic behaviors like the “how are you?” that doesn’t really want an answer or the perfunctory kiss on the cheek that’s …
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