Our beloved hometown, Rockland, Maine, has the highest divorce rate in the state, according to a scandalous report printed by USA Today.

The story, which appeared online Feb. 2, provides the following allegations about us: Divorced population: 22.2 percent; divorced population statewide: 14.1 percent; married population: 39.5 percent; median household income: $40,987; households earning less than $10,000: 8.5 percent.

Not exactly sure what the household income data is supposed to imply, but the divorced rate apparently puts us equal with Lawrenceburg, Ky.

If it is any comfort at all, we are still not as badly divorced as Newport, Ark. (23.2 percent); Aspen, Colo. (23.1 percent); Live Oak, Fla. (23.0 percent); Westville, Ind. (22.7 percent); Fallon, Nev. (23.0 percent); Truth or Consequences, N.M. (24.8 percent); McMinnville, Tenn. (24.1 percent); Brattleboro, Vt. (23.5 percent); or Clarkston, Wash. (25.7 percent).

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Rockland Historical Society has been posting old photos of the city and its people (probably including some divorced individuals, too) on Facebook lately. It is a very popular thing.

One photo among many that got my attention shows Joe Cormier in his barber shop, which was behind Fred Goodnow’s pharmacy on the corner that has been occupied by Camden National Bank since earlier this century. (Remember the protests against that?)

Joe Cormier Jr. posted remarks to the effect that Joe Sr. was involved in the construction of a number of properties associated with St. Bernard’s Catholic Church over the years, including the priest’s house and the nuns’ house. He was also CEO of the project to construct the Stella Maris apartments.

It is worth pointing out that the earliest modern housing projects aimed at the elderly and the poor in Rockland were both backed by religious institutions, namely the Catholic Church (Stella Maris) and the United Methodists (Methodist Conference Home, or MCH, as they now call it).

Socially responsible, caring, thoughtful and capable of delivering workable solutions to pressing problems? This is not the image of the church that is being bandied about on social media at the moment, is it?

These days, all the attention is being grabbed by the angry religious cranks, who by and large seem to have lost their concern for Christ and the poor he represented, and have instead invested heavily in godless politics that seeks to treat the poor and the downtrodden like dirt.

Jesus would have recognized their type.

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I wish to sort out a puzzle that might have distressed one or two readers in the last couple of weeks.

You are not losing your mind; the dear old Courier really did print the same photo on Page 1 last week and the week before. Oddly enough, it seems they actually meant to.

I suppose it is good to know that there are still many things that can happen for the first time!

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A week or two ago, I finished reading my very first large-print edition of a novel, the latest John LeCarre book, “Legacy of Spies,” featuring British spy George Smiley, although it focuses mostly on one of his sidekicks. Smiley, who ought to be around 120 by now, does show up near the end, however.

Now it is true that there is a certain reduction in my ability to see things close up, especially little stuff like the words on a page. And it is also a fact that I have about 11 pairs of reading glasses (various strengths) scattered in and around the cardboard box on top of the concrete towers at the foot of Mechanic Street, where I am forced to live.

The Four Seagulls of the Apocalypse love to play with them. They think it is incredibly funny to walk around in front of me, balancing a pair of spectacles on their beaks, bumping into each other on purpose, as though they could not see. (I must cut their winter rations further. Clearly they still have way too much energy to waste on nonsense like that.)

But I borrowed the large-print book from the library simply because it was the only copy of the novel they had available. Honest!

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Last week’s Courier promised that the answers to the crossword puzzle were to be found in the Classified section. Well, I couldn’t find them, and my eyes are not that bad!

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Uncle Ed tells me he started his wedding photography business back in the day so that he could earn enough money to buy a boat and maintain it on the high seas in Rockland Harbor.

The trouble is, he had to work so hard to afford it that even when he got the boat he was far too busy still photographing weddings to use it.

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I hear they are putting out a new version of the board game Monopoly, which is intended to benefit players who cheat.

I imagine it is inspired by the times in which we live. The White House and the Kremlin are both said to have ordered dozens of copies of the game. The FBI is investigating.

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A certain gentleman I know has been generously invited to stay at a nice condo in Florida for a few days, while he recalibrates himself after escaping the rigors of Maine weather this winter.

At first he was not too sure he wanted to dally much in Florida, what with it not having much warm weather either right now. But the thing that clinched the deal for him was realizing that, by staying in the condo, he can sleep in a room with an original Picasso on the wall.

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Speaking of the cold, Frank says there are almost no birds in Nobleboro this winter. Too cold. And he got an extra bag of bird seed for them this year, too. Shame.

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Just to warm the cockles of your wind-chilled heart a tiny bit, it can be faithfully reported that the organizers of the Union Fair are looking for a poster to announce the annual late-summer agricultural extravaganza. Ah, summer!

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The middle of last month, the Rockland Department of Sewage and Nasty Stuff announced that it had removed and inspected the contents of several city drainage pits, as part of an investigation being carried out by the police department.

The human mind recoils at the very thought of whatever they were looking for. The horror!