Drinking Brought Me Places

I didn’t want to be.

Waking up in a dark, cold room,

sore and lonely,

taste of last night’s alcohol on my breath,

the smell of sex with a stranger in my nose.

Getting out of that dirty bed,

tripping, stumbling over condoms, clothing and bottles,

wanting to go home,

but too dizzy to see the numbers on the phone,

still too drunk to call,

bloodshot eyes from the tears and the drugs,

in the car that’s hitting mail boxes.

Hiding behind my hands.

Having to be carried from house to house,

passed out and hiding on some one’s porch,

afraid of being eaten to death and hearing whispering  from the trees.

Drinking brought me places

I didn’t want to be

at too much of a risk to ask for help.

 

 

This poem was written in the context of T’s quest for sobriety, which has been a focus of her time at The Community School.  T’s Passage Project, which is an assignment that she gives herself and that helps her learn about herself or overcome a challenge, has been centered around her sobriety. This year, T found a sponsor, attended meetings three times a week, and just received her four-month chip.  She has also been writing a lot about her history with substances and her long-term goals for staying sober, some of which she will present to the school at the end of the month.  It’s been amazing to see how far T has come in a year, and to see this reflected in her writing.  Like all of our students, she is brave and honest and wants to use her own experiences to learn, grow, and teach others.  This poem, to me, is about consequences and the difficult, scary places a person travels in her search for self.  It also seems to be a written as a reminder to the author.  She names, here, of all the things she might rather forget.

Instructor Carrie Braman