Our local Republicans certainly know how to throw a party.

The members from Knox County went to the big city of Portland last week and made a name for themselves. I don’t recall who made the statement first, but in entertainment there is no such thing as bad publicity. In politics, however, there is.

The local representatives of the Grand Old Party were aghast at the art projects done by eighth-graders in a Portland school. They considered the posters anti-American, anti-white, anti-religious and anti-Knox County. OK, I made up the last one.

Someone within the ranks of the GOP took down a pro-labor poster and replaced it with a bumper sticker that said working people vote Republican. Someone also went through a closed box in the classroom.

The Herald-Gazette’s stellar investigative team has tried to recreate the events of that weekend. A video cassette was secretly sent to the investigative team and reveals what occurred that day.

The video starts with the Republicans, whose faces are blurred, sitting around in under-sized chairs passing around a teapot and teacups. They are snacking on cucumber sandwiches and discussing how their group could stage a coup and take over the state Republican Party.

They bemoan the state of education in Maine and the lack of a historical perspective that children have.

“We need to get the state and federal government out of education,” one of the speakers says. “Us local people know what are best for kids.”

One of the delegates then notices a large poster in the classroom that portrays the labor movement in the United States. The poster includes a quote from Eugene Debs that states: “Intelligent discontent is the mainspring of civilization. Progress is born of agitation. It is agitation or stagnation.”

“Who is Eugene Debs?” the speaker demands.

“Isn’t he some heavy metal rock musician?” another participant asks.

“No, no, he was the shortstop for the Philadelphia Phillies in the early 1950s,” another delegate pipes up.

The delegates then jump to their feet when they see a poster done by a student that shows former President George W. Bush with a heading “American Foreign Policy” and then stating that the United States kills tens of thousands of innocent people each year, including many women and children.

“That’s blasphemy,” shouts one of the GOP activists. “When we kill innocent women and children, it’s the price we pay for our freedoms. We had to go to war in Iraq because of 9-11.”

Someone in the group suggests the delegation get back to the final edit of the party platform they are going to present to the full convention.

“Global warming is a myth. Check.”

“Close the country’s borders. Check.”

“Get rid of any government involvement in overseeing the financial system. Check.”

“Nix gay marriages. Check.”

“No to Medicare. No to Medicaid. No to Veteran Administration health care. Check.”

The group then notices they have run out of paper and they look for scraps to continue writing their manifesto. One of the members opens a cardboard box that contains copies of the U.S. Constitution donated by the American Civil Liberties Union.

“What are these left-wing fanatics doing teaching impressible youth, the ACLU constitution? We can’t allow that,” a furious participant screams. “Look what this document states. They want freedom of speech and the press.”

“The only good media is FOX news,” says yet another participant. “They are fair and balanced. Why would we need any other news organizations?”

Then another member takes affront to the ACLU constitution that states that people are secure from searches and seizures of their homes and papers.

“These students have no right to have these thoughts,” a participant says. “Someone grab that labor poster that quotes that rabble-rouser Debs.”

“But that would be wrong,” a delegate says as the room erupts in laughter.

Mysteriously, there is then an 18.5-minute gap in the video. When the video starts again, the room is empty. The posters have been replaced with posters of George W. Bush, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck.

A voice can be heard from the hallway of the classroom, however.

“That should teach those kids to show some respect,” the speaker concludes.