humble farmer

By Robert Karl Skoglund | Dec 25, 2012

A former football player for the University of Maine has made headlines for shooting two people.

Ever wonder how TV wrestlers or football players can be thrown down without being injured? They can’t, but the injury might not show up for years.

People who have been pounded on the head can get a disease called chronic traumatic encephalopathy. We read that CTE is not uncommon in folks who are heavy into contact sports. Years ago in some movies the half-wit punch drunk boxer provided comic relief. Today the punch drunk athlete is a loose cannon.

Individuals with CTE may manifest their depression and aggression by shooting their families and then turning up on the evening news. Having your brain muddled in a sports arena is a calculated risk one takes while becoming a star.

If it doesn’t fit, you must acquit.

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In a recent New York Times one reads: “… in the deadliest attack ever, in Maine in 1927, a school board official blew up a school, killing 44…”

When I Googled it, I found the same information on a Web page called "Free Term Papers." Most everywhere else you look, you read that the bomb went off in Michigan.

I emailed the editor of the Times, pointed out the Maine/Michigan typo, and much to my surprise got a letter back from John that said, “Goodness gracious, the things that slip through. Donna, can you fix this the next time you go in to the page? Mr. Skogland, thanks for flagging.”

John’s spelling of my name reminds me that around 30 years ago, my friend Julian showed me an oak sign with his name hand carved on it in elaborate letters. It was misspelled. At the time Julian said the only people who couldn’t copy a name off a sheet of paper correctly were sign carvers and newspaper reporters. I hope he sees this because a man likes to know when he’s right.

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Someone raised a fuss about a Maine man who allegedly told his staff that he wanted new women employees to be hired on the basis of certain physiological attributes.

Everyone knows that men and women are both hired on the basis of their height and weight and other physical characteristics but we aren’t supposed to admit it or even talk about these things.

It’s always been that way. If you were to climb over the gunnels of a boat with a sword in your hand to loot and plunder would you want me leading the charge? Ever since men with clubs and swords started robbing their neighbors, tall men have always made more money than short men.

As for women employees — how many scarecrows have you seen on TV serving up your news and weather? Although some things are never mentioned, any old man with eyes will tell you that brains and the ability to read are obviously not the only determining factors when contracts are signed.

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We read that some children on the way to a sporting event in Maine did not make a bathroom stop, and the ensuing pain and distress warranted the dismissal of the coach and a report of the incident in the local paper.

Ever travel with a friend who easily drives 300 miles without stopping? You don’t get in his car a second time without being prepared.

One of life’s little lessons is learning how to pace yourself when traveling, and the sooner you learn this the easier your life will be.

You might want to remember this bus incident the next time someone tells you that sports don’t prepare one for the real world.

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This morning I was reading up on cults. Many define a cult as “any small group of people that believes something I don’t.” We have so many friends and relatives who belong to cults that it doesn’t hurt to learn a bit more about what fuels them.

But then I read that the individual members of the cult soon learn that they “can't do nothing right.” They can't hang out the wash correctly or make a bed properly or even dress themselves appropriately before going into town. Having discovered that belonging to a cult is no different than being married to a type A woman, I have chosen to terminate my studies until further notice.

Comments (2)
Posted by: Steve Waterman | Dec 29, 2012 12:32

By golly, you might make it yet, Robert. Keep working on your presentation.

 



Posted by: Edith D Eutsler | Dec 29, 2012 10:16

Very Good Article!



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